


Summer of New Beginnings (what I would do for you)

by CandiceWright



Series: My little merthur stories [10]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Canon Era, Episode Related, Episode: s04e12-13 The Sword in the Stone, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22147387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandiceWright/pseuds/CandiceWright
Summary: That night Merlin sees just how deep the wound of Agravaine’s betrayal is. He wants to hold Arthur and tell him that everything will be okay, that he won’t have to go through the same thing again but he can’t because he’s betraying him far more than anyone else ever has and it hurts.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: My little merthur stories [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449604
Comments: 24
Kudos: 154
Collections: The Merlin/Arthur Kiss Fest 2019





	Summer of New Beginnings (what I would do for you)

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my second entry for the Merlin/Arthur Kiss Fest 2019! This is a sequel to my first fic for this fest. It can be read as a standalone, but I would appreciate it if you checked the other one out. Hope you like it!

The summer night is warm and beautiful when Morgana attacks. No one expects it, not then at least, and even Merlin who knew it was coming is surprised by the timing. Arthur, ever the hero, steps out of the banquet hall as soon as the warning bells ring, prepared to protect his people with his life. Merlin doesn't notice it, not at first. Not with all the commotion and the people rushing in the room looking for cover. But when he does he goes out to look for him, desperate, because he can't bear the thought of never seeing those eyes again, of never feeling his skin against his own. When he finds him he has to take a moment to admire the scene unfolding before him. Because Arthur's fighting, _his warrior, his King._ And he almost looks like he's dancing, though he's not, his movements too fierce, too powerful. And Merlin can only think that such a man should be impossible.

But then a sword pierces his King's side and Merlin sees red.

He pushes Arthur aside and gets behind him, not being able to contain the flames that raise up to burn the _traitors_ that dared hurt his King.

He needs to take him to Gaius, he has to. But then they stop in front of the courtyard and a familiar figure is making its way into the palace at Morgana's side. And Arthur says “Agravaine” and Merlin has to hold him so that he doesn’t challenge him there and then because he can’t let him get hurt, _he can’t lose him, he just can’t_ despite how much he wants to see Agravaine dead as well. 

He takes him back to Gaius and prays that the damage is not too bad, that he’ll be up on his feet in a few minutes. But he’s not and he can’t get what he needs to treat him so he just makes the only possible choice; he has to get Arthur out of Camelot.

He tries to find other options first, there has to be a noninvasive way of getting Arthur to cooperate.

But there isn't.

And in the end, Merlin has to use magic.

So he makes Arthur lose his will.

It's wrong, of course it's wrong. But he can even bear to consider a life without Arthur, so he does it anyway. And, for a second, he thinks Gwaine knows, that he sees through him. But he doesn't question him, no one ever does.

Gaius' parting words resonate within him because _he'll take care of him, of course he will,_ but he can't help but be scared. Not for himself. 

Always for his King.

They lose Percival first when they’re running away from Morgana’s men. Then it’s Elyan, who stays behind to ensure that they can get to safety. The next thing Merlin has to do is to get them to Ealdor, where they’ll be safe.

Merlin finds Arthur some clothes that he can’t change into, but they too feel wrong. _He shouldn’t look like this, he should be wearing a crown so that people would know to bow before him, to feel blessed to stand in his presence._ But he can’t say these things. He can’t because protecting Arthur has to be his first priority and wearing his own clothes he would surely stand out. So he tries to make light of the situation, to laugh about the ridiculousness of the outfit because the other option is to break down and he can’t afford that. Not now.

They meet Tristan and Isolde and he has to call Arthur a simpleton and he wants to say _no_ and _he’s so much more_ but he needs to travel with them, so he keeps quiet.

When he has dinner with him that night he’s overly polite, more than he’s ever been and Merlin is surprised by how unsettling it is. But even like that, Merlin loves him, he _loves him with all his heart. H_ e then decides to have a little fun with it. So what? He hasn’t considered himself a good person in years so why pass an opportunity like this? Later he feels guilty, so much so that he can’t sleep more than a couple of hours.

But in the morning Arthur’s back and Merlin has never felt more relieved in his life. Then they get attacked and Arthur fights because _he’s back, his king, his warrior._

They fight and they win.

Then Isolde gets hurt and for a moment Merlin’s heart aches because what if it would have been Arthur? No, he can’t bear even thinking about it.

That night Merlin sees just how deep the wound of Agravaine’s betrayal is. He wants to hold Arthur and tell him that everything will be okay, that he won’t have to go through the same thing again but he can’t because he’s betraying him far more than anyone else ever has and it hurts. So he does the next best thing; he tells Arthur how great of a King he is, how great of a king he will become. Then, the light returns to Arthur’s eyes, if only a bit dimmed, and he pulls him close, desperate but gentle. he kisses him, his lips saying thank you with each movement, but when Merlin tries to put his hand up his tunic, Arthur stops him. Merlin understands. That’s not what he needs. He needs the contact, the warmth, the closeness.

So they just sleep by the fire in each other's arms.

Agravaine and his men get to Ealdor the next day and Merlin’s mum looks at him once and he knows he doesn’t have to say anything because she _knows_ what he has to say and for once Merlin’s glad that someone can read him like that. They talk anyways, Merlin needs it.

And then Gwen is there and Merlin's heart stops. She was the reason Arthur and him got together in the first place, it was her betrayal that started this. But now she there and she's hugging Arthur and all Merlin can do is look away and turn around because he can't see it happen, not like that.

They eventually discover Ealdor and what Merlin had thought was a safe haven becomes but another hell on earth. Their only option is to run, so they go to the caves. The same caves that Merlin frequented as a child and oh, how much things have changed since then.

Merlin is guiding them through the caves and he knows he’ll have to turn back at some point, knows that he has to deal with Agravaine. Meanwhile, Tristan keeps doubting Arthur and Gwen speaks up, saying that he doesn't know him, that he's a fair and just King, that he has a noble heart. If Merlin could speak up like that, he would say so much more, so much more. But he can't, not without giving their relationship away. So he keeps his mouth shut.

He takes the opportunity to go back when they hear Agravaine behind them but Arthur stops him, worried, vulnerable and if they had been alone Merlin would have kissed that stupid face because he can’t help loving this wonderful man. But they’re not, so he doesn't. Instead, he tries to lighten the mood by making himself look like a fool, but Arthur doesn’t buy it, not when he’s running into mortal peril to save them all once again.

He kills Agravaine and all he can think is that he fucking deserved it for betraying and hurting Arthur like that. He should have made him suffer more even. But he doesn’t look back to the dozen dead bodies in the ground when he leaves the tunnel and he can’t help but wonder when was the last time he felt remorse when killing someone. It was almost easy now, ridding Arthur of his enemies. But he couldn't feel bad and if that made him a monster, then so be it because he would never stop protecting him. 

When he gets back Arthur is looking for him and he’s reminded once more of how much he loves him, how much he would do for him. But he is not okay, Merlin knows. He no longer believes in himself. He has to fix that.

So he comes up with a plan. 

The sword is still where he last left it when they go into the clearing and with his story Merlin is sure to communicate how he believes in Arthur. And Arthur despite his reluctance goes a pulls the sword out and finally, finally, everyone, even Tristan, sees him as what he is. 

The Once and Future King. 

That night in the camp Arthur goes up to Merlin when he’s sure that everyone else is asleep and holds him close. He doesn't even bother to divest them of their clothing before entering Merlin, hard and desperate, with each thrust of his hips a silent thank you. And Merlin pants and groans low and dangerous because someone dared hurt what’s his and he can’t allow that. When they come, they do so silently, but somehow more words of devotion are spoken there than ever before. And Merlin treasures it, he treasures it so much that he decides he’ll go to hell and back once more if he has to. 

Which is why when Arthur falls back asleep he infiltrates the citadel. He knows he can render Morgana useless. So he places an enchantment. He does so just in time to get back to the camp. Arthur sees the bags under his eyes and questions him, but he shrugs it off with practised nonchalance and Arthur is too nervous to see through his lies. 

When they go back to Camelot Merlin prepares himself to fight, for he knows he would do anything to save the kingdom, even if it meant revealing his own magic or giving his own life. They come across Morgana and Merlin wonders if his spell worked. She confronts Arthur and, for a second, Merlin sees the sweet girl that had long ago been his friend. But then the darkness takes over again, and she’s gone. She goes to attack, but Merlin’s plan is successful and she can’t access her powers.

So she flees and they fight. 

And it’s in that fight that Isolde is fatally wounded. And as she's dying, she says ‘hold me’ and Merlin’s eyes meet Arthur's because he can see him in her place and he can't, he can't bear it. He believes Arthur is thinking the same but, for a second, Merlin sees something like an apology in his gaze.

He later finds that it is. 

An apology for what is to come. 

Because not a day later, Arthur proposes to Gwen and Merlin’s heart shatters forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to put this out before the end of the week so that I could work on the next one in the series, so it's a bit rushed. It may be updated later. Sorry!
> 
> If you liked it, leave kudos and a comment!


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